"write something beautiful"

No pressure.

my how the tables have turned.
my mind is officially blown.

xo

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

It's always super boggled my mind how someone can be two different people.
It occured to me today that my boss is infact a modern day case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, as she bought all of us extravagant christmas presents and referred to me as sweetie all day.
A Pedicure at the Prince Edward Spa (BALLIN'), a bottle of wine, a crab tree and evelyn travel package, and a bottle of champagne, as well as an early paycheque later made me realize this woman has me totally mind fucked and i have no idea if she hates me or loves me.

My mom informed me that i might be going to L.A. in january for free with my grandma. to see rich "aunty" Gillian Barberie and her model hubby and baby daughter ruby.
L.A.
Free
Rich "Aunty"
a-m-a-z-i-n-g.

I also got referred to as an ingrid bergman audrey hepburn hybrid by a certain adorbs dufferin station MC. i don't really see it but i'll definitely take it. it's definitely better that a "young geena davis", which i've been referred to as on more than one account. gross.

things are definitely looking up.
i was so caught up on old memories i forgot that half the fun of life is making new ones, with people who matter now, as opposed to those who mattered then.

whats up for new years?
xo

Big ups post!

so... after spending for too much time alone in the office today i've decided to make a post to all the things i love, or hate that consequently result in something i love.

big ups to the Via rail and the TTC for making my boss just late enough this morning that i wasn't caught being late.
big ups to my boss for being the craziest woman i have ever met so that any boss i have in the future will be a walk in the park in comparison.
big ups to red hair dye for making me feel good about hacking all of my retarded hair off again.
big ups to matt ellis for always being able to decipher what the HELL i'm talking about.
big ups to jen gillen for being the best robot legged friend anyone could ever ask for.
big ups to katie gale for not throwing away her old winter jacket and helping me fashion it into a new one.
big ups to arthurs fresh company for making those amazing mango plus smoothies that i super enjoy.
big ups to feta cheese for being a perfect addition to any meal i happen to scroung together from the nothingness within my fridge.
big ups to that guy who threw his shoes at george bush for throwing his shoes at george bush.
big ups to who ever came into the office last night to clean all the sparkles off my desk. alllriiiight.
big ups to anyone with a digital SLR camera for making photography the new "it" trend so that people will take their attention away from "hair dressing", neon, and cocaine.
big ups to the city of montreal for inadvertently showing me what the worst time of my life should feel like.
big ups to the city of niagara falls for showing me the opposite. (believe it or not...)
big ups to my mom for being the best mom anyone could ever ask for.
big ups to my brother for that day i showed up at his office swearing infront of everyone about the juice all over my purse.
big ups to the sweet potato for it's insanely low prices on amazing organic foods.
big ups to the asian woman in the variety store across the street for giving me a deal on cigarettes.
big ups to labbat 50.
big ups to my ever growing unreaaaal record collection that brings me more joy than most humans.
big ups to my idiot landlord for breaking so much shit in our lease that i can get off for not giving her enough notice about us moving out.
and last but not least...
big ups to me for getting through all the garbage that just got thrown at me and feeling like a million bucks.
go me.

xo

Bold move

worst idea ever?

having your family on facebook.

My dad asked me to change my "religious views" part of my facebook profile yesterday. jokes.

I don't know if anyone saw it, but it was an obvious haymaker quote. not that that means it describes how i feel about organized religion any less... but regardless, it really wasn't a big deal.

Hi Hon;
Please do me a favour. Change the "religious views" portion of your profile.
You have a lot of family "friends" that you are now hooked up with reading your profile.
You would be better off leaving it blank.
Love
Dad

By family "friends" he means people i don't know or care about. and i don't think you can even look at my profile if you aren't my friend.

anyway, i guess in his absence of my earlier years my dad forgot that i wasn't raised within any sort of religion. and with the growing awareness of how FUCKED UP it all is, and how many problems it causes world wide, i'm somewhat disheartened that he would try and squash, what is in my opionion, one of the more sane views on it all.

i have never been one to push my views on things upon other people. not even just about religion. and i would like to think a lot of thoe choices i make when it comes to my lifestyle are carefully thought out and weighed pertaining to whats best for me as an individual.

Getting this e-mail, makes me even more dissapointed in the human race than i already am, that we still have such a close minded point of view on things that something as fucking lame as part of a facebook profile would cause any sort of judgemental behaviour or negative action.

it's almost fucking 2009 people.
time to wake up.

xo

OH!

+'s
LAN parties.



i can't believe i forgot LAN parties.
xo

dead weight.

"I dipped a cat toy in chicken bouillon and lionel is being the cutest ever!".

someone needs to fix jens leg. soon.

SO i got a noogie from my 60 year old boss on friday.
a noogie.
i almost got fired. for, i'm not really sure what... apparently i just walked in at the worst possible time after sleeping in. but i called. and she was fine so that wasn't the reason.
And then at lunch i got a paycheque, and a noogie, and an "it'll get better."
rediculous.

I have been staying up until ungodly hours of the night/morning with Jen playing this completely awesome Indiana Jones Lego game. i think Annie sending her an X-box was one othe best/worst things to ever happen to our lives. life. hahahaha
My cell phone is still broken. and i don't have money to get a new one yet. Just incase any of you have tried to get a hold of me and couldn't. or thought i was ignoring you.

I'm covered in sparkles from doing all these stupid christmas cards. my desk is covered. my phone is covered. my face is covered.
worst.
I don't hate christmas, but i hate most things christmas related.
Anyway, i feel like this month, and this comming year could be a huge huge turning point in my life. i don't want to jinx anything, but i feel like i'm about to get so good. or maybe life is about to get so good and i'm going to stay shitty....
jaykayjaykay.

+'s
getting my own place
decorating my own place
laptop for christmas...maybe
furniture shopping
tattoos saturday
melly friday

-'s
mizzin' u


xo

well i've got a confession...

ha ha ha ha.

So last night i went out with an old friend to the reservoir lounge.

we actually sat at that exact table and drank wine and listened to this jazz band all night. it was different for me. but good different. with good conversation as always, that comes more naturally than sleep.

i was... fairly intoxicated when i got the text from jenjen on my way home saying she was dans l'hopital. huuuuuuuuuuge bummer. i sad.

i've been working like a dog lately. and my boss is growing increasingly more insane as the days go on. Comming to work every morning is like being a hostage stuck inside a building waiting for a bomb to go off. actually.
no i am not exaggerating.
I spent a solid 4 hours yesterday in the office in silence hearing only the repeated slamming of her wireless mouse.
is it worth it? i don't know. probably not. but until i move, i'm staying i guess.

i'm getting tattooed twice in the next week and a half. i think? i haven't heard from dan since the middle of november so... lets say atleast once.
this isn't interesting.
you aren't at all who i thought you were
you either.
or you actually.
Dissapointed? not really.
Suprised? not in the least.

xo

all hope abandon, ye who enter here

SO woah. yeah. whats up Crisis week.
My grandad passed on friday, i'm sure you all heard. That was the hardest death i've ever had to accept. and thats all i want to say about that right now.
On Friday afternoon i left work to go be with my mom before we even knew any of this was going down and managed to dump an entire bottle of Vitamin water out in my purse all over my phone and ipod.
the ipod Survived. my phone... only kind of survived.

Yesterday i worked the Royal Bank Christmas Party and it actually ruled. I hate serving more than anything on the face of the planet, strictly because i'm totally done with jobs where people don't even see you as being human.
Anyway, i worked as a bar back which meant the only people i had to interact with were my own staff and that made the night awesome.
it still sucked being in a room of 600 suits... but i made a lot of money so i'm over it.
I'm doing the CIBC christmas party next week too, which should be atleast another 7 hours. moneymoneymoneymoneyiceymoneymoney.

does anyone even.... read this anymore? hahaha
i need more boots. and i wish i could wear heels sometimes.
this makes no sense because im on the phone with jen.

c u!
xo

so walk it out.

all i've been doing lately is watching stomp the yard.

my grandad can no longer drink fluids. he probably isn't going to make it through this weekend.
my moms best friends dad died last night. cancer. it was diagnosed about 2 weeks after my grandads was.
he was her second father.

i'm still laughing.

xo

Just call me debbie downer

yesterday was by far one of the worst days of my life to date.

FOR STARTERS, this wasn't meant to be the end all and be all of our friendship. we just don't work in a living environment together because we are too different now. you have your priorities, i have mine, you have your views on things, i have mine, etc etc.
This didn't need to turn into some childish "meet me on the playground at 3" type shit.
just saying.

My mom came down yesterday to go see Repo with me. Yeah i was in it. Yeah i saw myself. I was really irritated and she was obviously over tired and we kind of bickered a lot. She told me that the last time i saw my grandad was probably the last time i was going to get to talk to him. he doesn't really wake anymore for longer than 3 minutes. and maybe twice a day.
he didn't even get to see my tattoo.

I have to move in february, i don't really know how i'm going to afford that yet since i wasn't planning on leaving until march really at the earliest. I don't think i want to live with anyone but at the same time i can't really afford not to. the whole situation is really fucked up and i'm sure what i'm going to do.

i also, in a span of about 5 minutes last night managed to light one of my gloves completely on fire and break the zipper on my wallet, which allowed me to lose my last 40$ until friday.

after the already mentioned occurences of this week... i don't really know how much worse things could get right now. hahaha
and all i can do is fucking laugh.
about everything.

xo

OH really now. come on.

"Ollie, Paul Samplonius, and Sarah Bolen are now working with me at Good Time Design by appointment only. Check out GoodTimeDesign.com for booking info."

OF COUUURSE you actually moved here and got a job working at a shop i get tattooed at. WHY WOULDN'T my life work out in the shittiest way possible and throw you back into my life at the worst time ever.
atleast when you lived in another province i didn't have to worry about possibly bumping into you and having my foolish little heart ripped out all over again at the sight of you.
hahaaaaaaaaaaa stokedstokedstokedstokedstoked.

xo

LOL

Soooo for the past three mornings i've been comming into work to GIANT like.. 15 MB e-mails from my mom who i guess has come into the 20th century and discovered lolcats.
If it was anyone else, these e-mails would be recieved with a groan and some sort of comment like "yeaaaah it's spelled wrong i get itttt". but because it's my mom it's pretty much the most adorable thing ever.

"these are so CUTE!"
"got these ones too, aren't they funny?"
"Found more! lol have a great day!"

my mom is the most awesome being on the planet. and yes she lol's.

Too bad i hate mexican food more than anything in the entire world.
Except for maybe the current lack of MASH UPS in my life. (jen gillen i'm looking at you.....)

xo

oh heyyy blog friends.
it's been a while. the office has been a bit uptight and hectic lately so it's been harder for me to write. Plus, seeing as my life seems to be the largest pile of shit lately i didn't want this to turn into bummerspot.

two things i am looking forward to:
getting tattooed on sunday. KINDA. i'm liking getting tattooed less and less because i think my pain tolerance is going away forever... but this ones important. My grandad probably isn't going to make it to Christmas. so atleast he'll get to see this before he goes.
and fitness with jen on Saturday. FITNESS! the act of getting and being fit. melon pants. melon ass. mash ups. omg.

Winter has always sucked for me. no matter whats going on it's just never a good time. This year it just seems like there's a lot more shitty garbage adding to how crappy my winter is going to be. Crappy living situations, crappy friends, crappy grandad situation.

If you're going to talk to people about me behind my back i am not going to be friends with you.
end of story. i am above all of this petty bullshit that no one i used to be friends with seems to have outgrown.
i am not going to get involved, and you and i are no longer cool.
thats all there is to it.

i am trying to make my room as much it's own space as humanly possible. if anyone wants to come to ikea with me next weekend to shop for some stuff... i'd appreciate the company.

i'm starting to just not care anymore, about a lot of things... which honestly should probably concern me. but it doesn't.
which ironically, is concerning in itself.

SHOES! i can't be bothered to explain all of them but most of them are artist releases (like musicians), a pair of "thrashin" sb highs, the MOB hi edition that i wish didn't have patent leather, and those patent fucking studded supra's that i want just for those times i like to dress up and pretend i'm gene simmons.

kicking and screaming

UNTIL I GET THIS.

so. cute.

P.S. you're so cool, you're so cool, you're so cool.
and if you weren't drunk when you watched it.... maybe you'd get the reference.

xo

o_O

could you be any more vague and unconcerned with the problem that is happening with my computer?
seriously.

"i can't go out *coughcough* i'm sick"

"boo! you whore"


yea. exacttttttly.

xo

I am on an episode of Maury Povich

with more psycho broads and less maternity tests.
lets cut the bullshit here, shall we?
i have been SUPER cool about all this weird i like boys, no wait, i like girls garbage for a really long time now. and you know what, i would still be cool about it if you weren't all so fucking insane about it.
AND, it's the same group it's always been.... with the exception of one who has decided to play for one team, and one team only, and is significantly more sane now that she has a stable realtionship with one person that isn't any of you.
I don't care, if you're a girl who likes girls, or a girl who likes boys, or a girl who likes both, but being deceptive is still being deceptive and lying is still lying regardless of your sexual orientation.
it isn't ok to be in a relationship with someone and lie to them about the someone else you're secretly interested in.
it isn't ok to pretend to be someone's friend because you see them getting closer to the person that you're secretly interested in when you're already in a relationship with someone else.

does this make sense to anyone other than me, or am i completely fucking crazy.
this is not a world i would like to be a part of, so please stop bringing this shit into my life.
thank you.
end rant.

xo

read this.

http://jengillen.blogspot.com/2008/11/no-news-is-good-news.html

because jen gillen is quite possibly an alien being who has been sent here to make people pee their pants with laughter.

just sayin'.

xo

he'll be suprised when i walk up and say

Man, I wanna make you glad you're alive


karen kamon i love you.



i got these yesterday:

On vinyl.

ANNNNND















on cassette. r00lz.


xo

where have all the good people gone

fuck your falsehoods.


thank you to the one person who apparently cares about my well being these days.


VANS update -
spent way too much time alone in the office yesterday. I'm super into the Chukka low's right now... anyone who shares my unfortunate chubby ankle situation should be too.
all of these rule:

(for all of you that don't know, neck face is a graffitti artist from california. he's the art director for Baker Skateboards and does work with a lot of different companies providing artwork for all sorts of products.)

chukka lows. super simple, super nice.

if i didn't have fat ankles i would totally rock these. the feathers are so cute. (and all of you know my thing for feathers)

and these are for Vik...

xo

nobody laughs anymore

for once in my life, i can actually say i do NOT deserve this.
There isn't even a reason that i could pass off as why i could possibly deserve this.

i haven't been this dissapointed in a really long time.

xo

DOM

is the reason i love french canadian people.
the only reason.

Me: "Oh. no. but we aren't really pals, he has a new gf and stuff"
Dom: "Ok. Like a burrito, but with no bacon."
Me: "what?! what the.."
Dom: "hey stop it. don't pay no mind to the lynx roux"
Me: "what's a lynx roux"
Dom: "your dream animal"
Dom: "it's like a girl fondue"

yep.
xo

so its official

i'm going to winnipeg on the 31st.
it's going to be freezing. but thank god i'll be getting out of here for a few days.


AND.. i got my side tattooed. Matt Ellis is a Genious.

Orig:






















Me:

















bruised.
itchy.
stoked.

xo

splitting heads

if someone could please end my life for missing chris colohan singing a left for dead song on Friday night..that would be fannnnntastic.

screaming gets you nothing

when i was growing up i had this majorly hideous bedroom furniture in my room.
it was white with tarnished gold hardware, and all the finish was chipped off and wearing away from it being moved around so much and passed down from generation to generation to my mom to me.
I suppose theres something to be said for tradition. A constant in life these days is always hard to come across. something in time that can be preserved and shown to others from another day should probably be something i cherish a little more.
unfortunately, that furniture represents a life choice.
a choice to settle down in a small town where you have nice neighbours with kids the same age and an elementary school up the street.
it also, just so happens, to represent everything i wanted to escape growing up. the small town. the close minded kids. the finish highschool, go to college, marry your sweetheart, move back to your hometown and start all over again mentality.
I'm watching all these people i went to highschool with get engaged and buy townhouses in grimsby, or turn into drunken fat business administration whores who spend their weekends living back at home and wonder why anyone would want to carry on such an awful tradition.

watching my grandad deteriorate over the past couple of weeks has been the hardest thing in the world. At first it wasn't so bad because i don't really think he understood what was going on with all the imbalances he was trying to level out.
But i think the fact that he's dying has finally hit him, and a man who i saw was so full of hope and fighting seems to have lost the will to carry on.
Monday was a rough day. He came out and stayed to visit for about 15 minutes before he decided he wanted to go back to bed. he looks all swollen from the fluids they were pumping into him to fix his electrolytes and he can't seem to focus his strength to lift or lower himself.
My grandparents were both really excited to go and see the movie i was in at the beginning of november. who knows if i'll actually be in it but everytime i saw them thats what they'd talk to me about.
when i was saying goodnight to my grandad on monday he smiled a little and said "i'll see you in the movies". I don't know what it was about the way he said it, but it crushed me. they way he looked and his tone of voice just screamed i've already given up, and i felt like he was already saying goodbye.

My grandad was the only person who encouraged me to get out of grimsby. Since day one he has backed every decision i have ever made, good and bad, and never told me that i needed to get my head out of the clouds.
He was one of the only reasons i ever had enough courage to break tradition (minus hating college and never having a highschool sweetheart....), and i think i'm losing him.
i wish i could get rid of the bedroom furniture instead.

xo

srsly.

how much would you ACTUALLY wanna bone if a girl had this on her pillowcase:

the matching one happens to be a not so adorable cartoon dog.
How cute.

xo

life lessons.

my current daily album playlist:

lifetime - lifetime
lifetime - jersey's best dancers
new found glory - tip of the iceberg
loved ones - keep your heart
loved ones- build and burn
bars - introducing
suicide file - some mistakes you never stop paying for
justin timberlake - future sex/love sounds

Last night i headed to siesta to hang with vik.
I've never seen any of the bands that played last night live before but trap them was unreal. Siesta Nouveaux was such a fucking wicked find for this city. and the stuff that goes on there is almost always 100% decent and actually makes me enjoy going to shows again.
Anyway, saw a lot of Jose, which was awesome because you can never get enough little brother in your life. shared my rosemary and olive oil triscuts with everyone (I'm actually a little surprised at the amount of people who didn't even know they existed...)
i love sharing.
and then yeah, saw a bunch of other people i really like seeing and that was that.
I'm a little bitter about the occurrences of the rest of the night... but i wont get into those because it's really not important.
It did however, somehow trigger a bunch of shit I've been mooring over the past few weeks and helped me come to a few decisions.
For the next little while i am going to be pretty much entirely encompassed in work. and my writing. I really want to make as much money as humanly possible and seeing as my boss wants me to start going to all these events I'm just going to suck it up and serve for all these corporate assholes and make a lot of money doing so.
I also want more than anything to have a solid piece of writing finished by new years. a piece being a short story, or a couple chapters of this book I've been trying to write for like.. 5 months, or a collection of other crap... anything. anything that i can use to submit as a sample so i can do freelance work, or something i can use as a strong base for something bigger.

then in my spare time, at least whatever is left of it, I'm going to get tattooed.
and buy records.
probably get poutine from utopia with Jen.
and VACATE Toronto as much as i can manage.

my schedule for the next week is as follows:

Friday - Hamilton hangs (YAY), possibly the ERGS! show or Circa
Saturday - boots shopping with wifelife, home for mom times
Sunday - vegetarian buffet thanksgiving at moms (my mom being veg. is so sick)
Monday - visiting grandad at his house (hopefully... I'm pretty sick of mcmaster) and seeing some of the relatives from England.
Tuesday - work 9-5, work at CTV for the elections party/show 5-1am
Wednesday - work 9-5, possible jose hangs
Thursday - work 9-5, possible jose hangs
Friday - work 9-5, eating glass at siesta
Saturday - tattoo appointment 6pm - 8ish, possible trek to Burlington for eating glass at Spencer's
Sunday - record shopping

anyway, i have a lot of shit to do, including a huge wedding proposal...
seems like I've been saying this a lot lately, but it's time for a new start.

so lets leave the past behind us, and focus on whats next...

you know what i mean?
xo

Because every hairdresser ever

insists on cutting all of my hair off.

Thaaaaaaaats greaaaaaaaaaat.

i've been growing that since november.
i should have added staying away from sharp objects to my list of things to avoid to try and prevent a third bad occurence.

OH well. see you in six months nice hair.

xo

ALSO

if you haven't seen this yet....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bi40powiPrc

double time.

or something...

I really need to start getting some of my work up here.
written work.
and.. actually... i really need to start writing again. i haven't done anything in a week and a half.
And this crap.. doesn't count.

when life gives you lemons

.....i really wish life would stop giving me fucking lemons. haha

my grandad went into ICU yesterday.
i was in guelph hanging out with three of the coolest little boys on the planet when my mom called. i guess it isn't good. i guess he's having all these weird complicatons they weren't expecting and he's just getting weaker and weaker and more out of it.
I couldn't bring myself to go down there yesterday. seeing him like that is so depressing and i don't want my last memories of my grandad to be of him in the hospital raging and in pain and not really knowing who i am.
no thanks.

anyway, the shit with ***** and this is only two of a common "bad things come in three's" fate, so i'm waiting for something else really awful to happen to kind of cap off this great time i've been having. perhaps i'll lose my job.
or if i'm really lucky i'll get hit by a truck or something.
who knows.
so if i've been texting any of you incessantly and hating life i'm sorry. i'm really just trying to take my mind off things.

can't wait for thursday. hung out with Vik last night and spent a rediculous amount on groceries. also aquired thrashin', fight club, the notorious bettie page, and marie antoinette on the weekend for a grand total of 29$. that ruled. and hopefully this week i'm going to get my stomach tattooed. hopefully.

anyway, i have interviews to do... if anyone wants to hang out this week let me know, i'm going to try and keep myself as busy as possible while trying to avoid high traffic streets and parking lots.
har har.


xo

yeah!

delete forever.

so good!

i guess "this is the last time you're going to hear from me" doesn't mean the same thing to you as it does to moi.

oh well.

= me. in a nutshell.

11:36 pm

boy does it seem later than that.
what a fucking day

note: gross things to follow. be forewarned.

So, i finally got a hold of my mom today. (after being tranferred to about 8 different people all over McMaster before they put me through to where ever it was they were keeping my grandad). Apparently i am not old enough yet to be told when someone in my family is going to die. NOT that my grandad died. but there is a very high chance he is going to in the next 4 to 6 months. and that isn't me being negative it's just the facts of pancreatic cancer.
Which, has also spread to his liver.
Bummer.... is a definite understatement.
He's super gung-ho about having the operation for his liver and then undergoing chemo, but even then statistically his chances aren't great.

he was hallucinating today because he's been having such bad stomach pains that he wasn't eating or drinking enough and got really dehydrated. something about being on the deck and there being all this hamburger meat (in between the wall and his bed) left out of the fridge and the BBQ was in that bag over there.... he also thought my moms purse was a giant rat. and then hours later a road map. ohhhh grandad.

anyway, i'm going back to the hospital tomorrow with moms because she isn't doing too well. Hadn't slept since monday etc, but i don't think i've ever seen her so happy to see me.
So for once i'm going to have to step it up and be the parent. But i'd do anything for my mom. obviously.

other than that, i'm not going to bad mouth anyone who might be friends with anyone who might read my blog because i don't actually wish him any real harm... i just would like to re-iterate some points that some of you may not know about me...
I hate being lied to. i don't care... what the reason is. and i don't care if it's going to hurt my feelings... i don't want to be lied to. it's a really fucking simple request.
i ALSO hate womanizers. not that this person was a womanizer. but i hate them anyway. AND I CAN SMELL YOU DISEASE INFESTED ASSHOLES FROM A MILE AWAY. so go away. please.

It's how I live - never forget, never forgive

i've never really been one for second chances.
xo

sometimes things happen pt. II

and you realize way more than one should ever have to come to terms with in one day.

i am just one big ball of madsadconfused.

9:32am

My grandad is in emergency and no one even bothered to call me.

fuck everyone.

growing pains.

so recently, i said something pretty shitty to someone who didn't really deserve it.
Bad timing i guess.

"it's funny how you can grow your hair out and start wearing dresses and suddenly everyone can see what a great person you are."

Maybe i shouldn't be complaining. but for whatever reason it just doesn't sit right with me when someone couldn't give me the time of day a year ago and suddenly they can't live without me. or need to know me. or need to be around me.

and i don't just mean one person, i mean multiple persons. And maybe a year, or two years, or three years ago i would have killed for that much attention from those kinds of people, but now? not a fucking chance.

none of it really matters anyway as it doesn't really apply to anyone that reads this.
I'm not going to say much else.
But i know what i want.
And it's not any of you.

xo

"Fuck It I need beeeerrrrrr"

cue vik running off into the night.

SO this weekend was actually so decent thanks to the random events of saturday night.
Friday night was a bit of a write off. Took the TTC along king out to broadview and then back to dufferin along dundas hating life. went home, angry slept and then woke up to vik texts about gyming.
Went to vik's, played some rock band 2, went to the gym, came back to do vik's homo fantasy hockey pool, got pizza and then went to meet up with Queen Bee at Dundas square. Thats when the night started to get random. but in a really good way.
Hung out at Patrick's for a little while and watched the monstrosity that is "So You Think You Can Dance" canada. waited around for a little while before giving up on scott and going to Dee's.
I drank a lot of water.
Everyone got foods and we just hung out waiting to see if anyone was going to join us there.
"and what does that say?"
"sink, swim"
"and what's the relevance of that?"
i love humans!
after dee's we said goodbye to bee and started a trek to queen and ossington to meet up with the ever elusive scott. we got to about... dundas and ossington at 1:55 and vik decided he wasn't going to miss out on last call and went tearing off down the sidewalk to get beer. I've never seen vik run so fast in my life.
As it turned out scott was at neither Sweaty Betties or Baby Huey's, and we temporarily lost vik but found this guy, which was almost as good.
Once we located Vik we wandered all the way down to parkdale to hit up the Rhino, which i haven't been to since i moved out of parkdale (R.I.P 1365), to finally find scott, who happened to be accompanied by a very drunk jamie, a very drunk laxton, a birthday bergin, and a seemingly angry jesse. Plus some other people i don't really know.
anyway, the time spent at Rhino wasn't anywhere close to how long it took us to get there, and before long Vik's umbrella was broken and i was waiting alone for the Dufferin bus to take me back to my house.

Anyway, i woke up sunday with a fucked up back from sleeping weird and spent the rest of the day starting to clean my house and then bailing to go hang out and play more Rock band.
we unlocked motorhead.
and linkin' park.
need i say more?

ANYWAY, strip club friday night.
it's on, and if you're cool you'll come out.
just sayin'.

xo

like screaming at a wall

I STILL DON'T GET IT.

it just doesn't make sennnnnnnnse.
AGHsgahgdsodsiuyaggggggsdagjogfdsagfdsajlgfds

losing patience

you know it's never been my best trait.

I'm buying all of this after next friday.

realistically... by all of it i mean the dress and the crewneck...because thats all i'll actually wear. But i wouldn't completely rule out that plaid MOB shirt either.

A boy i know should invest in the Rebel 8 x True S/F new era hat.

i don't care which boy. just A boy.

i'm having a rough week.

think i might pass on DLYF tonight... but thanks for all the pre-drink party offers.

xo

sometimes things happen

that make breathing really hard and you instantly want to puke.
and maybe you're over reacting, but either way it's still not a good sign.

achtung

It really pisses me off when people just act like you don't exist.
and i don't mean strangers.... that i could care less about. I mean people that you were legitimately friends (or other) with at some point in time that pretty much just cut you out of their life for no real reason other than they found something better to occupy their time with.

or someone.

it's no wonder i don't bother trying to be friends with anyone anymore. keeping up a relationship with someone shouldn't be tiring...
and when did being a total dick become cool again?

xo

are you ready?

are you with me or not.

so... pictures. of my weekend.

i'm not going to explain everything...but we drove up to dani's parents house friday night and her mom fed us so much delicious food. saturday ruled. FYS rules. IHOP rules. Evan Pierri rules. Grand rapids.. is kinda weak, but our hotel had a liquor store in the parking lot. ruled.

uhhhhh there's some other random stuff in there. like PK (pumpkin), some DLYF, back to school lap dances, some other wierd stuff.

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa