day 3 (technically 5)

of me not having a cell phone.
i mean i have a cell phone... but of me not having a cell phone that hasn't been shut off.
i think this is the first time in a long time that i've been so broke. i have 26$ in my bank account.
ouchies.
i blame new york.
and my new found love for going out to get lunch everyday.

and for all who didn't know, i got a raise at work. starting.. not this friday but two fridays from now. i'm not really sure how much it totals out to yet per pay cheque... but either way im excited.
it means in some little way i can save for school and start paying off little bits of my compiled debt.
something is better than nothing.

and you? you're better than everything. <3

xo

i hate my blog white.

it seriously upsets me.
but im too lazy to change it right now.

one craft at a time.

still crafting my bike pad... may have made it a bit small this time. fml. i can still fix it.

remember these?
http://www.surfacecollective.com/index.php?nav1=detail&product_id=31

MY MOM GOT THEM FOR ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY.
because she FUCKING rules. (special shout out to the best boyfriend ever who drops really good hints....)

i'm going to NYC on friday, adam is going to put my straight bars on and today wound up being wicked. fuck my work. it's not important anyway.
all i have to do is get through tomorrow.

send me good vibes!
xo

i dont know what the big deal is.

but it's a big deal, and it has been for a while now.
this is the first time i haven't wished you a happy fathers day. it's probably time i got some things off my mind...

in other news i am ultimately retarded. and cause myself more greif than is ever necessary.
think about it, sort it out, and get on with it. thats all there is to it.
it makes me somewhat angry to think that the only problem we've ever had was a direct cause of me being an idiot.

i'm going to NYC next weekend somewhat unexpectedly! i'm really excited. and i get to bring my bike. doubly excited. that will be more than enough to help me cruise through this week i'm hoping.
PLUS i might get to see evan! and it'll be mine and adam's first somewhat of a trip together, (+jason) so it's special.

i'm a big huge sack of gay.

xo

sick as a dog.

i was.
but im actually feeling better except that my blackberry seems to be screwing up already after only having it for like 2 weeks.
I haven't written in a while. i feel like i don't have a lot to say that i haven't already said a million times before.
i need a vacation.
my boss is crazy.
i love/hate toronto.
etc etc.

Taking jen to Mtl next weekend with me courtesy of my bossypants. thanks for the free hotel/plane tickets you batshit crazy piece of woman you. I'm supposed to be going to some huge event planning trade show/work shop things but whether or not i'll actually make it is another story to any/either of those.

You have quickly proven to be more than i ever thought possible, especially once i thought things started to go down the tubes, and i don't even deserve you. it sucks so much for me to see you so unhappy when the answer is so simple. or atleast seemingly simple to me... maybe i just don't understand having never worked 7 days a week in my life, but i can only imagine what that would do to me. physically and emotionally draining. thats all i can think over and over in my head and i wish there was some way i could get you out of this. thats not something i want anyone i care about to have to try and cope with on a day to day basis. And not being able to make you feel better kills me everyday...i can read you better than you think i can. and probably better than you hope i can too.

All i want to do lately is watch true romance because it reminds me of you.
I really fucking miss Dom. anyone who calls me "baby penguin" on the regular is someone i need to have in my life more. haha
I also miss Michelle, which reminds me that i need to read her blog when i'm done writing this...
and katie gale is the light of my life with her bk big fish and her baby face being late for workies due to bk big fishes and google image searches. big fish bk google big image fish searches.

AND it makes me glow on the inside comming home to two spaghetti cats, A.A.H, and Men Chillen erry dayz.

Life is good. lets get big.
xo


P.S. i plan on writing the longest "THESE ARE THE ITEMS I CURRENTLY WANT TO OWN" entry when i get home. beware.

Big ups post!

so... after spending for too much time alone in the office today i've decided to make a post to all the things i love, or hate that consequently result in something i love.

big ups to the Via rail and the TTC for making my boss just late enough this morning that i wasn't caught being late.
big ups to my boss for being the craziest woman i have ever met so that any boss i have in the future will be a walk in the park in comparison.
big ups to red hair dye for making me feel good about hacking all of my retarded hair off again.
big ups to matt ellis for always being able to decipher what the HELL i'm talking about.
big ups to jen gillen for being the best robot legged friend anyone could ever ask for.
big ups to katie gale for not throwing away her old winter jacket and helping me fashion it into a new one.
big ups to arthurs fresh company for making those amazing mango plus smoothies that i super enjoy.
big ups to feta cheese for being a perfect addition to any meal i happen to scroung together from the nothingness within my fridge.
big ups to that guy who threw his shoes at george bush for throwing his shoes at george bush.
big ups to who ever came into the office last night to clean all the sparkles off my desk. alllriiiight.
big ups to anyone with a digital SLR camera for making photography the new "it" trend so that people will take their attention away from "hair dressing", neon, and cocaine.
big ups to the city of montreal for inadvertently showing me what the worst time of my life should feel like.
big ups to the city of niagara falls for showing me the opposite. (believe it or not...)
big ups to my mom for being the best mom anyone could ever ask for.
big ups to my brother for that day i showed up at his office swearing infront of everyone about the juice all over my purse.
big ups to the sweet potato for it's insanely low prices on amazing organic foods.
big ups to the asian woman in the variety store across the street for giving me a deal on cigarettes.
big ups to labbat 50.
big ups to my ever growing unreaaaal record collection that brings me more joy than most humans.
big ups to my idiot landlord for breaking so much shit in our lease that i can get off for not giving her enough notice about us moving out.
and last but not least...
big ups to me for getting through all the garbage that just got thrown at me and feeling like a million bucks.
go me.

xo

so its official

i'm going to winnipeg on the 31st.
it's going to be freezing. but thank god i'll be getting out of here for a few days.


AND.. i got my side tattooed. Matt Ellis is a Genious.

Orig:






















Me:

















bruised.
itchy.
stoked.

xo

are you ready?

are you with me or not.

so... pictures. of my weekend.

i'm not going to explain everything...but we drove up to dani's parents house friday night and her mom fed us so much delicious food. saturday ruled. FYS rules. IHOP rules. Evan Pierri rules. Grand rapids.. is kinda weak, but our hotel had a liquor store in the parking lot. ruled.

uhhhhh there's some other random stuff in there. like PK (pumpkin), some DLYF, back to school lap dances, some other wierd stuff.

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

LIKE ON VACAY?!

ROAD TRIPPPPP!

legally blonde anyone?


peace out canadizzle.
NFG NFG NFG!

xo

Public Enemy #1

there are a lot of things i don't want to talk about.


Lately i've been putting my trust in the TTC to take me places far away from my home after work. Monday night i ended up in the beaches, which is definitely not nearly as cool at 9:30 at night. I don't know what it is about taking the queen streetcar places but sometimes when i have a lot on my mind and nothing to do that's what i turn to.
the good old 501.
Usually east bound.
because who the fuck likes etobicoke anyway.
I'm alone in the office for the first time in what seems like forever. Not that that has anything to do with me not writing as much lately.. i guess i just haven't had a lot to talk about.

I'm really excited to go away this weekend. All i can think about is the times Katie, Dani and I would drive to montreal, even if montreal is actually the one place i wish i never had to think about, and it makes me really excited to have rediculous sing a longs and play dumb car games with my two favourite people in the entire universe.


The rest of this entry is going to be devoted to what males should never own, or wear, if they are interested in getting laid by anyone who isn't a hippie or who's last name doesn't end in "ia" or "io"....or i suppose just "i".


BIRKENSTOCKS.
it's bad enough that they're now "in style" for those weird hipster meets abercrombie type broads... but on men? never.


TEVA sandals. ESPECIALLY with socks.
most frequently seen on old Asian/European men.
and unless you are either of those things... lets keep it that way.


Hiking Boots
There is no reason, anyone who lives in the city of toronto needs to own a pair of these.
i know a lot of you want to DRESS like lumber jacks... but unless you get out of toronto every weekend to explore the great outdoors.... or something... better just leave these alone.


Bell Bottoms.
John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever....
Need i say more?


ANYTHING made by parasuco.
OKAY. so i live near Corso Italia. and yeah i might have a little bit of a bias because dudes who wear this crap always seem to have something lame to say about my tattoos and it's annoying. But parasuco is like the leader in mens clothing for still using a bedazzler.
so i guess, if you want to be known as the guy who pays too much money to a shitty designer to bedazzle his clothing, then fine.
anyone who can take on that title is a man regardless.


i feel another night alone is needed.
maybe i'll go somewhere and write.
i guess if worse comes to worse i could always watch Dracula for the 3rd night in a row.
Winona Ryder is so hot in that movie.


xo

Snap back to reality

sometimes it's nice to think that you can help everyone.

and sometimes it's nicer to realize that people have to help themselves.

it's been fun being not me for three weeks. Drinking excessively and talking to/hanging out with people i would never had my life not come to some weird screeching halt. but now that I've got it all out of my system, it's time to get things back on track.

I have been seriously considering leaving Toronto lately. (dun dun dunnnnn...) just for a year or so to go live somewhere I've never been before. how many times have i said this. i know. but i feel like i need to start knowing places outside of Toronto. or even Ontario for that matter. (and anywhere in Quebec doesn't count...)

There's not a lot for me here other than my job and my friends. not that either of those things aren't worth enough to make me stay, I'm just getting restless.

i hate going home and having everyone in my neighbourhood stare at me because I'm a female and i don't have a Portuguese mustache or micro braids.

i hate comming into work and hearing my boss screaming at the people at Bell Canada for the third time in one week.

i hate meeting the same people over and over again who aren't worth my energy and definitely aren't worth my time.

SO i suppose i feel it may be time to take action.

i am currently planning two trips... one to New York City and one to California. if i have to go by myself i will, but i need to stop sitting around so much all the time talking about where i want to go and just fucking go already.

i wish i had more IRL stuff to update you on but i haven't really done anything since friday night. i don't even know if i told anyone what i did on friday night but i probably shouldn't talk about it yet.

i would like to have all of my tattoos done in Copenhagen by this guy.

i'm still looking for someone who does really good traditonal style work in toronto. any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. even...outside of toronto. hook me up.

also, if anyone has any suggestions of some cool places i should visit in the states, i am taking those as well.

Paris stole my best friend. (but i love that shirt...and i guess technically she is in england right now)

but i made a new friend. it seems like even when i don't want them, they always want me.

xo