ignorance is bliss

im at a place right now where i dont really know how to move on from here because i dont know where i want to go first.
might sound cool, because it means i have options, but it's not...because as all of you know that means i have to make a decision and decision making is not my finest quality as a human.
it makes me jealous of all those that have no ideaaa whats going on in the world outside of their own pitiful lives. sure they may not get to experience anything or gain any sort of worldly knowledge, but they learn how to be infinitely comfortable in their own lives doing whatever it is that they do best.
i'm considering putting the money i was going to spend on going to NYC towards other things. going to NYC alone would be fun for all of 6 hours before i didn't know how to entertain myself anymore and i'd just get uncomfortable. plus staying in a hotel by myself is going to be outrageously expensive.
Maybe i'll just go to Jersey to see Evan and do a day trip. i dont know.
everyone is excited to go back to school in september and hearing them talk about it makes me really sad. not to the point of tears or anything i just wish i could have even a little bit of help going back to school so that i could start sooner rather than way, way later. sure i appreciate having to work for things in my life as opposed to having everything handed to me but i'm old enough now that i understand the value of responsibility and self provision, so a little help would just be really nice.

i feel like something is missing from my life. i've really only felt it in the past 2 weeks, and i don't really know what im supposed to fill the void with.
again, with the decisions.
xo