thinking bout the breeze

today.
tomorrow.
it really doesn't matter. the past 36 hours have abeen a complete blur of me thinking about this non stop and trying to forget it all at the same time.. i'd like to see you try.
day in and day out its the same god damn thing.
pretend not to care.
pretend its alright.
pretend it can only get better.
wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh is just a way to pretend that important things dont matter. making myself up to look less shitty than normal is just a pretend way to not feel defeated again.
but as soon as you dont have 100 things to distract you it all comes back. the dissapointment, the grief, the fucking self conciousness that rules your life. the reason why you never get involved in these things in the first place...because when it all comes crumbling down all you have left to hold on to are the things that you hate most about yourself.

i dont know. i'm so pissed off i dont even know what im talking about anymore.

juliaclaire says:
i feel awful

xgenevieve jeansonx says:
im sending the cat

juliaclaire says:
i dont want the cat hahahahha

xgenevieve jeansonx says:
its on its way

juliaclaire says:
you actually just saved me from another half hour of tears

juliaclaire says:
hahahaha

xgenevieve jeansonx says:
yesssss

xgenevieve jeansonx says:
but seriously whats your adress

juliaclaire says:
i dont know the postal code yet

xgenevieve jeansonx says:
ill find out

xgenevieve jeansonx says:
its going at 125 m/ph

juliaclaire says:
the cat?!

xgenevieve jeansonx says:
yes